The 2000 Year Old Virgin
by xXdreameaterXx
Summary: The Doctor hasn't been a teenager in a very long time and with his new regeneration cycle he suddenly feels urges that aren't familiar to his kind. Luckily Clara is there to lend a helping hand. . . and mouth.
**The 2000 Year Old Virgin**

Clara was more than ready for a new adventure. Things had been rough ever since the Doctor had regenerated but she was slowly coming to terms with his new, slightly grumpy character even though she still hated the fact that he wasn't so keen on hugs anymore. When it came to his looks Clara thought of this regeneration as an improvement. She had come to love his dorky, bowtie wearing self eventually but the silver fox had style and he was also damn good looking.

Clara felt well rested after a night on the TARDIS but she soon realized that she was in for a surprise when she stepped into the Doctor's bedroom which was lying in semi-darkness and the Time Lord hadn't left his bed yet.

"Go away, Clara," he mumbled, his back turned towards her.

She couldn't help but laugh. "What's wrong, Doctor? I thought we wanted to see that asteroid with the strange faces carved into the surface."

"I'm sick." That was all he replied. Nothing more and nothing less.

Another laugh escaped her mouth. "You never get sick. I didn't even know Time Lords _could_ get sick. What's wrong? Maybe I can help-"

"No!" Suddenly the Doctor sat up straight in bed, pulling the duvet closer to his body. She could still see that for some reason he was wearing question mark pyjamas. Clara made a mental note to tease him about those later. First she needed to find out what was wrong with him.

"Doctor," Clara said calmly, "If you tell me what's bothering you, maybe I could help. You weren't sick yesterday and frankly, you don't seem very sick right now either. Tell me the truth."

She saw his lips moving. Obviously he was considering telling her something but it took him a moment before the words actually came out.

"It's a swelling," he said simply, "Now go away."

"A swelling?" she asked in disbelief, "But you didn't hurt your foot or anything else yesterday and-"

Clara paused. A swelling that had appeared over night and by the way he was looking at her she could tell that it wasn't in his foot or arm but somewhere more private. Otherwise the Doctor wouldn't be acting so strangely. He was having an erection. A pure, simple, human erection.

She didn't really know why but somehow the idea of the Doctor being aroused made her insides tingle. She wanted to see it, touch it. She'd been thinking about him in that way ever since his regeneration. After having seen the last him naked she didn't really see where the problem was with this one.

Clara granted him a kind smile. "Doctor," she began while she stepped a little closer to his bed, "I think I can help with this one. It won't take long, I promise."

The Doctor gulped, his eyes widening. "Rea-really?" he asked.

"Mh-mh," she reassured him, sinking down on the bed next to him before she gently pulled away the covers to reveal his problem. Now it was time for her eyes to widen as she looked upon the tenting pyjama bottoms. This regeneration was truly gifted. But then something came to her mind.

"Doctor, how did you deal with this before, exactly? I mean, this can't be the first time that this happened."

He cleared his throat, trying to reach for the duvet again to cover himself back up but Clara wouldn't let him.

"Doctor?"

"It did happen," he paused, "As a teenager. On Gallifrey."

"What?" Clara sounded more shocked than she had intended to.

He opened his mouth wide. "Time Lords don't actually reproduce like that. We don't need these parts and usually they're not active. I mean, we _can_ , but we don't have the _urge_ like humans. Please, Clara, can I cover up again? This is getting a little embarrassing."

"You don't have to be embarrassed, Doctor. I'm human. This is totally natural to me. But why's it happening to you _now_?"

The Doctor took a deep breath. "I guess with the new regeneration cycle I'm sort of like a teenager again. Now I'm just waiting for it to go away like it did back then."

Even though Clara had sworn to herself not to laugh at him and his situation any more she couldn't help it. Seeing the Doctor so clueless and flustered for once was, if she had to pick one word, cute.

"So even when you were married you never- or yourself?"

"No!" he shot back as if Clara had suggested something thoroughly shameful.

Now she didn't feel like laughing anymore, instead she gave him her kindest smile. "Doctor, I can make it go away in a way that is a lot nicer than waiting. A simple massage will do and I'd love to do it. If you want me to," she suggested and placed her hand on his thigh, "Please, let me help you out."

The Doctor gulped at the sudden touch but he didn't push her away. Instead he nodded.

With a smile Clara leaned forward and dipped her hand past the loose waistband of his pyjama bottoms until she could feel his skin. He was hard and radiating heat when she started running her fingers along his length. The Doctor hissed and closed his eyes.

"Relax," she told him calmly and wrapped her hand around his cock, giving him a couple of light strokes.

"Umpf," he muttered and his eyes shot back open when his hand reached for hers, trying to stop her, "Clara, I think you're making it worse. It's- erm. . ."

He was growing harder underneath her touch, she knew cause she had felt it.

"It's alright," she reassured him, "Does it feel good when I do that?"

Clara ignored the hand that was attempting to block hers and continued to stroke up, teasing the tip of his cock with her thumb at which he uttered a soft moan. The Doctor slowly sank back into his pillows, his hand giving up its weak attempt to interrupt her and she was allowed to continue.

The Doctor's eyes were now closed again and his lips were parted. She could hear his breath becoming quicker as she tightened her grip around him just a little. If he had truly never done that before Clara suspected it wouldn't take much to make him come.

"Mhhhhh," the Doctor hummed when she circled his tip, spreading the precum over it with her thumb and suddenly Clara was tempted to taste him.

He was leaning back now, relaxing under her caress. He wouldn't care if she used her mouth, would he?

Gently she drew her hand back and his eyes shot open immediately at the lack of contact.

"Clara," he seemed surprised at how husky his voice sounded and cleared his throat, "Why are you stopping?"

She smiled at him when she tucked his pants down in a swift movement before he had a chance to protest. "I need a bit more room," she told him and lowered her head.

"Clara!"

She knew that was his attempt at protest but again she was quicker, wrapping her lips around the tip of him to suck him gently and his words were drowned in a moan. Slowly Clara let him glide into her mouth, which wasn't easy given his size, and she felt his body jerk up beneath her, trying to thrust into her mouth when he moaned again. The Doctor's hands that had formerly tried to stop her were now buried in her hair, prevent her from going anywhere but up and down his cock. She rubbed her tongue along the sensitive underside which had him suck in his breath and again try to push deeper inside of her. Even if he had never done it before, the instinct was there and he was obviously enjoying it more than he would've thought. She held his shaft with one hand while the other went to cup his balls, her index finger landing right behind them. Clara pressed hard against his perineum.

"Ohhhhh," the Doctor suddenly cried out, his nails digging into her scalp. He was moving his hips up and Clara had given him trying to make him stop. Instead she let him glide out of her mouth and swirled her tongue lightly around the lip, tasting his precum. She couldn't really tell the difference to that of a human so swallowing it couldn't really do much harm either.

The Doctor groaned in frustration and at the lack of mouth around his cock so Clara decided not to torture the poor, not quite so virginal Time Lord any longer. She tightened her lips around him as hard as she could and let him guide the speed, let him thrust up at the pace that got him off and tried her best to suppress the gag reflex he was causing her. He was panting now and leaking precum, losing the rhythm more often than he held it as he was nearing climax and Clara could tell it wouldn't be long.

"Mhhhhh," he whimpered, still keeping a tight grip in her hair, "Clara. . . something's. . . _oooohhh_. . . happening."

Even though her lips already felt a little numb she pressed them even harder together and suddenly the Doctor cried out and came to a halt, his semen filling her mouth before she could swallow around him.

The Doctor sank back limply into the pillows, his breath fast and shallow. Clara sat up, watching the Doctor come down from his orgasm and trying very hard not to feel proud of herself. But she did.

When his cock had returned to its flaccid state and the Doctor's breathing had slowed down he suddenly looked at her with what Clara could only interpret as disbelief. Somehow that look on his face started to worry Clara. What if there was a good reason Time Lords didn't have sex, what if it triggered a regeneration? What if she had _killed_ the Doctor?

"Is something wrong, Doctor?" she asked him carefully.

"Yes," he seemed aghast, "Time Lords are insane. They're _nuts_!"

Clara frowned at him. "I don't think I understand?"

"They're missing out on this! _Voluntarily!_ "

As soon as the message had settled Clara began to laugh. "Well, just be glad you ran away because in your TARDIS you can do whatever you like. And I'd be happy to do it with you."

The Doctor sank back into his pillows, a serene, happy look on his face and somehow Clara knew that from now on he'd be like a five year old who had just worked out how to open the cookie jar. She also knew that hugging probably wouldn't be an issue any longer.


End file.
